A Novel Called Sister
by dyingonaprayer
Summary: "My name is Katrina, and everybody calls me Kat. This is the story of my family..." Katrina Reid writes a book about her life with her two brothers, Christopher and Spencer Reid.  Better than summary.
1. Author's Note

**Real A/N This story is really my first 1****st**** person story. It is written as a book called "A Novel Called Sister" by Katrina Reid, who is Spencer's sister. Please enjoy!**

**~MAXIMUM**

_Author's Note._

_My name is Katrina, and everybody calls me Kat. This is the story of my family. My two brothers and I live in Virginia. We moved there when my brother got a job with the FBI. We used to live in Las Vegas with our mother, our father left when I was four. They always told me I would be a great writer. And now at only twenty eight, I have published five best-selling books. I thought it might help to write about my childhood. I won't call this a biography. It's not about me, it about my life, maybe, but not me. No, this is a novel. A novel called Sister. So here goes nothing._

_-Kat_

_Dedicated to my brothers, SSA Dr. Spencer Reid and Airman Christopher Reid .Spencer- I'm sorry and I miss you. If you see this, you should know I'm coming home. And Chris- Thank you for all that you have done, and I can't wait to see you again. Love, Kat._


	2. Chapter One: Dentist

**CHAPTER ONE ****DENTIST**

Nobody likes dentist appointments, but me… well let's just I would rather just let my teeth rot then have someone poke around in my mouth. I looked over towards my brother, Chris, and silently begged him to let me leave. He just shook his head, ignoring my pleas.

"Katrina Reid." The secretary called.

"You'll be fine Kat." Said Spencer. He knew I hated dentists.

I took a deep breath. _You'll be fine Kat. _ I repeated to myself. I took a shaky breath and stood up. I knew it was childish to be afraid of the dentist, and that at fifteen I was much too old to be doing this but I just couldn't help it.

I had no idea why it scared me so much, I mean, with the things my brother did and all the times he and been in danger… you would think this would seem like nothing. I had been afraid he wouldn't come home so many times. But still, the thought of sitting in a cold gray room with in that uncomfortable leather chair staring up at artificial windows featuring palm trees or hot-air balloons struck fear in my heart.

I walked through the ugly white-painted door with the too-perky secretary (who giving me a bright white smile that was just too obviously fake.) I followed her towards the door. Dreading every minute, I thought of the last time I had gone to the dentist, or was supposed to go..

_I was nine years old, and I didn't want to go to the dentist. Not at all. I was praying for something to happen so I wouldn't have to go. Spencer, my fifteen year old brother walked towards me holding my pink fluffy coat. I loved that coat, it was warm and soft and every girl at school was jealous of it. It was the one thing I had that they actually wanted. Spencer has saved for three months to buy it for me for my birthday. "Ready Kat?" he asked. _

"_I don't want to!" I said._

"_Come on Kat, please?"_

"_I hate dentists!" I yelled._

"_Kat, shhh. You'll wake up Mom."_

_But it was too late. She was already up. "Where are you going?" she asked._

"_To the dentist Mom, were just going to get our teeth cleaned." He said._

"_NO!" she screamed. "The government will take you away! It's a trap! Don't go! Don't go!" she grabbed Spencer's wrist, pulling roughly at it. "YOU CAN'T! I won't let you! Won't let them take you away! You won't go!" _

_Her screaming made Chris come into the room. "No Chris! It's the government! Don't go!"_

"_It's okay Mom, we won't go!" Spencer said._

"_No! You will anyway. I know! A mother knows." She said._

_She grabbed Chris and me with her free hand and pulled us into the room we all shared. She pushed us in and closed the door, locking it behind her. "I'm sorry, but I can't let them take you. I can't." she said through the door._

_Guess I don't have to go to the dentist._

But that wasn't the case now. There was no schizophrenic mother to lock us in a room today. Well, I guess compared to that the dentist wasn't so bad…

Forty five minutes later I walked through back through the door again.

"See, that wasn't so bad? Was it?" Asked Spencer.

I smiled, showing off my newly white teeth. " I guess not."


	3. Chapter Two: New Job

**CHAPTER TWO ****NEW JOB**

I was thirteen Spencer started his new job. He was only twenty one, just old enough to be an FBI agent. He had been assigned to the BAU, or Behavioral Analysis Unit. They were called profilers- they profiled serial killers, predicted who they would be, what they would do next.

Spencer has an IQ of 187. He reads twenty thousand words per-minute and has an eidetic memory. He is a huge nerd, always has his head in a book and dresses like he's colorblind. But he's brave and strong and he always took care of me and Chris. Always. We were never hungry, sure our clothes were a little ragged or out of style, but we could deal with that. Spencer had been putting food in our mouths since he was ten, living off just a paper route and mom's monthly unemployment check- well for a while at least. After they stopped coming Spencer got a real job. He worked under the table at a package store, sorting cans. He got paid six bucks an hour and the basement he worked in was cold and dirty, the cans moldy and still filled beer. But he did it for us. He graduated high school at twelve, went to college so he could get a well paying job and not have to work so very hard. And he chose the FBI, which pays a little better, but he stills works his butt off.

My other brother Chris got a job when he was sixteen. He worked at a restaurant as a waiter. It was cleaner and easier then the job Spencer had at his age, but it still left him exhausted after school, homework, and work. Chris was smart, and he got all As and Bs in school. He loved taking things apart and putting them back together. He loved hunting and could hit a target spot on from miles away.

No matter how much I offered, they never let me get a job, sure I was only fourteen but I knew I could still help. So against the wishes of my brothers I started baby-sitting four nights a week. I started writing stories then. I loved it so much. I posted them online, and I got hits. Thousands of people would give me reviews, and I can't remember ever receiving a bad one. It was the best thing in my life.

When Spencer left that day, we wished him luck and headed off to school. The team got called to a hostage situation in New Jersey. Spencer called and told us he should be home by tomorrow. When we turned on the new we saw live footage of the building in New Jersey… and we saw it blow up. It was when I realized just how dangerous my brother's job was. Chris was dialing his number before I had time to react, but I heard it ring. And ring. And ring. And ring. And go to voice mail. "Do you think he's okay?" I asked. My fear growing.

"He'll be fine- he has to be."

Twenty minutes we waited, Chris staring at the phone resting on his lap, me staring at the T.V.- at the ruined building. Searching for any sign my brother was okay.

Relief washed over me when the phone rang. Chris answered before the phone had time to finish the first ring. "Spencer?" he asked.

"Guys, I'm not sure if you saw on the news or anything…"

"We saw." I butted in. "You're okay right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be home in a couple hours." He said.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"See you soon." Said Chris.

"Yeah, see you soon." Spencer replied.

We waited for him to get home, and it seemed like it took forever. The silence was vast, and you could practically taste the worry in the air. It was so tense; we just needed to see him to know it was true. That is wasn't a lie. That he really was okay. When we heard the key in the door, we both stood. When it began to turn, we held our breath. When it opened, we ran towards our brother, and engulfed him in out hug. He was unscathed. He had been safe when the bomb went off. They had gotten all the hostages except two out of the building before it exploded. A man and a woman, who were in love, were killed.

They were only twenty. They had just gotten married, and the woman was pregnant.

Their life was ruined. And I felt guilty because I felt joy. But I couldn't help it. Spencer was okay. My brother was alive.


	4. Chapter Three: Danger

**CHAPTER THREE ****DANGER**

"Katrina and Christopher Reid to the office please." Said the voice over the intercom.

I got up from desk and headed out the heavy wooden door that lead out into the hallway and into freedom from the god-awful boring class I was in. Little did I know what was about to happen.

A woman in a well tailored pants-suit was waiting for us. "Katrina and Christopher Reid?" she asked, approaching us.

"Yeah, that's us." Chris told her.

"My name is Agent Kepner. I'm here to take you to the BAU, your brother has reason to believe you're in danger."

Disbelief spread through me. In danger? What could possibly make Spencer thing we were in danger? What if something happened to one of us? Fear spread through me, making me feel numb and tingly.

"What?" asked Chris

"Your mother is being flown in from Vegas as we speak. Come with me."

She drove us to the BAU in a large black SUV with flashing lights on the top, and we ran inside. I needed to know what was going on, now.

"Spencer? What's going on?" I asked him.

"The case I'm working on, we think the unsub knew mom. There's a chance she might have told him about you, were not taking any chances." He said.

"He knew Mom?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, he was at the sanitarium with her." He said.

"Oh." Chris replied.

Mom arrived thirty minutes later. "Hello Kat. Hello Chris." She said.

"Hi Mom." I smiled. I hadn't seen her in five years, and frankly I didn't really want to. I don't think any of us wanted to face what we might become.

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. She was too unstable to take of us when we were little, which is why Spencer did. Schizophrenia is genetic. Any of us might start showing signs. The disease usually manifests itself somewhere in your twenties, which means Spencer was at a major risk right now.

"I haven't seen you all in so long. Why didn't you visit me?" she asked.

"We were busy. We have to go to school." Said Chris.

"School is more important than me?"she said.

"No, but we have to go or Spencer would get in trouble." Chris explained.

"The government would take him away?" she asked.

"Yeah, so we have to go." I told her.

"Okay. As long as the government doesn't take you away. Where is Spencer?"

And that's when he walked into the conference room. "I'm right here."

"Hi Spencer." She said.

"Hey mom, listen, I need to ask you some questions."

"Okay."

"There's a man who knows things about my co-workers personal lives that only you would know, did you write about the things I told in your journal?" he questioned.

"My journals are none of the governments business!"

"Mom, I'm not the government."

"Really? Because this certainly looks like a government office!" she said.

I felt the sting of the words like they were directed towards me. All my life my mother had hated the government and everything it stood for… and now she was telling Spencer that he was what she hated.

It was quiet. The silence was deafening. What do you say when your mother just implied she hated you? Spencer took a deep, steadying breath. "Mother do your write about my co-workers personal lives?"

"Why did you bring me here Spencer?" she asked, pressing her hands against her head.

"I need to ask you some questions about a man- a bad man. He's killed some people and he's holding a girl hostage."

"You think I know someone like that?"

My brother looked down, unsure of what to tell her. "Will you just… watch the tape and see if he sounds familiar?"

She sat down and Spencer popped in a tape. A roundish man sat shrouded in darkness, his voice raspy "I had to make sure I had your complete attention…."

Mom's face showed some strange kind of recognition, fear, and confusion. Spencer stopped the tape.

"You do know him?"

"I'm sure it's… Randall Gardner."

A plump blond woman walked in a vibrant outfit that was definitely against FBI policy walked in.

"Reid, I got to the end of the strand. The unsub's name is Randall Gardner. He's Rebecca Bryant's biological father." She said.

"Thanks Garcia, I'll call Hotch." He said.

The woman smiled at us. "Hi, I'm Penelope Garcia, I'm the Computer Tech."

"I'm Kat and this is Chris." I said.

"Reid… Spencer, is an amazing person. You're lucky to have him for a brother."

I smiled sadly. We were more than lucky, we were blessed. "I know."

I only met one other of Spencer's coworkers that day- Derek Morgan.

Agent Morgan was a tall, muscular black man with sensitive deep brown eyes that told the truth about how caring he truly was, but they were haunted with this weird kind of horror. Like he had seen everything anyone could possible imagine up- and knew there was still more.

"I didn't know Reid has siblings, you guys live with your mom in Vegas?" he asked.

Obviously, Spencer wasn't very open about our family's history. "No, we live here with him." I answered.

Agent Morgan has looked shocked, but like this somehow made sense. Like he couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. He didn't ask any other questions. He respected the fact that if Spencer had wanted him to know- he would have told him.

Spencer and his team saved the girl before she got hurt. The man that had kidnapped her, her father, killed himself and burned Spencer, but other than that, the case had a happy ending, for the girl, anyway.

Because the unsub had shot one of Spencer's team members- Elle Greenway. She was going to be okay. But she had come close to dying. It wasn't the kind of experience you relish, and she was probably traumatized.

But our family was safe, and we all flew on the jet home with mom.


	5. Chapter Four: Birthday

**CHAPTER FOUR ****BIRTHDAY**

I was turning sixteen. The birthday every girl dreamed of. Sweet sixteen. But for me that wasn't the case. I spent my sixteenth birthday in a hospital. No, my sixteenth birthday wasn't sweet.

There was an accident, a drunk driver.

And it hit Chris.

Spencer and I rushed to the hospital. Where we waited for hours in a horrible waiting room. Hours and hours of another horrible uncomfortable silence.

And I cried, he cried. We cried.

Because Chris wasn't going to call us and say "I'm fine."

No. He was laying in a hospital, hurt.

And we were waiting, not to find out if he was okay or not, but to find out if he were dead or not.

He was only seventeen, turning eighteen in five months.

If his life ended, then it would just be a waste. He hadn't had time to do anything, to help anybody.

It was just unfair.

Horrible.

Cruel.

All because of some jerk. Somebody who got drunk and thought "I don't care if I hurt anybody."

One hour.

Two hours.

Three hours.

Four hours.

Five hours.

Six Hours.

"Christopher Reid?" a doctor said.

We stood. "Yes?" Spencer said.

"He's alive."

I closed my eyes. Letting the momentarily blissfulness fill me up.

"How is he?" Spencer asked.

I opened my eyes, being forced back into reality.

"Well, he's in a coma. There's no saying how long he'll be in it."

And so we waited.

A week.

Two weeks.

A month.

Two.

Five.

And then, on the day a miracle happened, and he woke up… he woke up to a tragedy.


	6. Chapter Five: Kidnapped

**CHAPTER FIVE ****KIDNAPPED**

Spencer was in Georgia, working a case when Chris woke up. I was at the hospital with him, I visited him every day after school. It was almost two years since he had been hit by the car. Spencer was twenty four, I was seventeen, and he was nineteen.

"Kat?" he had whispered.

"Chris! You're awake!" I said.

I tearfully explained to him what had happened.

"I missed… five months?" he said.

I nodded. "But now your awake, and everything is going to be okay. I have to call Spencer, he's in Georgia."

I called, but I got no answer. So I called his boss, Jason Gideon.

"Hello?" he said.

"Agent Gideon? Is Spencer there? Chris woke up!"

"Chris woke up?" he said.

"Yes! Can I talk to Spencer?"

"No Kat, he's not here."

"What? Where is he?"

"He's been kidnapped by an unsub…"

"What? Is he okay? Do you know where he is?"

"Were working on it Kat."

"Working on it? Work harder! Please, I can't… something good finally happens and now this?"

I heard another voice on the line.

"Who is that?" It was a woman.

"It's Spencer's sister." Jason says.

"Spencer has a sister?"

"Excuse me for a minute Kat." He said. I heard his hand cover the receiver, but it was loose and I could still here what was being said.

"And a brother, JJ"

"How old are they?" the woman said, crying.

"Seventeen and nineteen. His brother, Chris, has been in a coma for five months. And he just woke up." Gideon said.

Who was this woman? Why was he telling this woman about them? I was angry- he had no right to do this.

"Can I talk to her?" she asked timidly.

Agent Gideon handed over the phone.

"Hello?" she said.

"What do you want?" I was reaching my boiling point.

"My name is JJ, and I work with Spencer. We thought we were going to interview a witness, but then Spence figured out it was the unsub. So we split up and the dogs attacked me. And the unsub… he took Spencer. It was my fault. I'm sorry." She said.

Suddenly it hit me- Agent Gideon had told her about us so that she would have someone to apologize to. So she wouldn't feel so guilty, and she could do her job.

"It wasn't your fault. But will you make me a promise?"

"Sure."

"If anything happens… will you call me?"

"Yes of course."

"Thank you." I said, and I hung up.

I walked back into Chris's hospital room, trying to control my tears. I couldn't do this. This wasn't happening.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked.

"It's Spencer… an unsub kidnapped him."

Chris stared blankly at me, not registering the fact that our brother could be dead right now.

The hospital disacharged Chris and I drove him home. We sat up all night waiting for news, not exchanging a single word. It seemed like silence was becoming a custom of this family. Neither of us slept the next day either. We couldn't bear it. In fact, we hardly moved at all, just staring blankly at the T.V.

I got three phone calls from JJ.

The first one came early the next day- The unsub had sent a live feed of Spencer to them, and he was alive.

The second one came later- The unsub had dissociative personality disorder. He was living as three people.

The third one came really late at night- They had a location, they were heading out.

And then finally, miracle of miracles, it wasn't JJ's voice on the phone, it was Spencer's.

"Hi." He said.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked immediately.

"My foot's broken and I have a slight concussion, plus other bruises and cuts. But I'll be fine. Home in the morning." He said.

"Spencer…" I said.

"It's okay Kat. I'm fine."

"You're the only person in this world besides Chris that ever took care me. I love you, and you're the best older brother anyone could ask for." I say.

"Love you too, Kat. I'll see you in the morning." Spencer said.

This was one nightmare over.


	7. Chapter Six: Second Passion

**CHAPTER SIX ****SECOND PASSION**

Writing was my first passion. After spending every day in a hospital after school for five months visiting Chris, I had found my second. I wanted to heal people. I wanted to be a doctor. I skipped two grades in school, and this year I was graduating. It was weird to think I was graduating before Chris. Because of his coma, he was behind.

After graduation, I applied to medical school. I was accepted to Virginia Commonwealth University. That's why, a month after his abduction, I knew when Spencer started doing drugs.

The doctors who had checked him out had informed us he been forcibly given a drug called Dilaudid during his captivity. The man, Tobias Henkel, was addicted himself. He gave them to Spencer to help him escape his "father" (one of his personalities) who beat him and "Raphael" (his last personality) who forced him to choose who he would kill.

Having trouble coping and the combination of temptations of that "escape" were not good. After three months I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand to see him throwing his life away. So I confronted him, and he stopped. He would struggle with it for the rest of his life, but he stopped. And he is still clean to this day, as far as I know.

Chris graduated high school later that year, and joined the air-force. He was twenty one, smart, and capable. He moved up the ranks pretty fast.

Meanwhile, I was pursuing my love of bodily functions- and decided to become a surgeon. It was probably one of the toughest career's out there, and I was relishing the challenge.

One cool fall day, I was rushing off on my way to class when I bumped into someone. I spilled my hot coffee all over him.

"Watch it!" he cried.

"I'm so sorry, here let me help you." I said.

As I helped him gather up his coffee-soaked papers I looked up into his charming blue eyes and was transfixed. So beautiful and deep.

"I'm… Kat. Kat Reid." I said, holding out my hand.

"My name is Scott, Scott Caffrey." He said. "Look, I know this is weird but will you go out with me?"

"Yes." I said immediately. "I mean um, yeah sure."

He chuckled. "Here's my number," he said handing me a business card, call me when you have a chance.

Two months later, we were in a serious relationship. I even introduced him to Spencer and Chris.

Scott was working towards a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. He wanted to help people, just like I did. Just like my brothers did. We talked about everything together, life, death, money, the future, the places we had been.

I was in love.

He asked me to marry him. Just one day while we were walking down the street, in the rain. I said yes, and he didn't have a ring so he drew one in Sharpie.

Then one day there was a robbery. Scott and I were in the bank when it happened, and the robber shot him. He was dead. Right in front of me, he died.

I loved him and he died.

I miss him. End of story.


	8. Chapter Seven: Scratch

**A/N Thanks to RogueStorm84 for reviewing! I tried to make this one longer. :)**

**CHAPTER SEVEN ****SCARTCH **

Six months after Scott died; I was coming home much more frequently. Chirs was in Iraq. I skyped with him almost everyday, but on the days when Spencer was away on a case, I was all alone.

I would sit down in my room and cry. When I wasn't crying, I buried myself in studying, my mind wasn't as good as Spencer's and I didn't remember everything, but I damn near memorized every medical textbook out there.

One night Spencer came home after a case and his eyes were filled with the horrible guilt.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Spencer, sit down, and tell me what's wrong." I demanded.

Knowing he could never win, he sat down in the wooden chair across from mine at the small brown table, which was cluttered with case files and homework, folding his hands in front of him.

"The case we were working on, there was a guy and he kidnapped this teenage girl, and they were in the bathroom at the school. The girl's father found them and he brought a shot gun. I was the first on to arrive on scene and when I got there, the dad was pointing a gun at the man's chest. The girl was begging her dad to kill him. I tried to talk him into not doing it but he just… just killed him. Right in front of me and I didn't… I couldn't save him."

"Oh, Spence." I said. I hugged him tightly, and he was shaking.

"Your… craving? Aren't you?" I asked.

"I just can't get him out of my head and I want to escape it." He said.

"It won't help you. I don't care what Tobias said. It doesn't help and you know it."

"I know… it's just hard to resist some times."

"Will you do me a favor then?" I requested.

"Yeah, sure."

"Go to a meeting." I said, handing him a brochure for the Beltway Clean Cops.

"Go to a therapist." He said.

I sighed. "Fine. It's a deal."

Later that night I was lying in bed- not sleeping of course when I heard Spencer cry out. I ran into his bedroom, he had been scratching in his sleep. Enough to leave deep red gouges in his arms. I shook him to wake him up.

"What?" he said.

"Shh, Spence your safe. Come with me." I pulled him out of bed and into the bathroom.

"We can't let these get infected, this is going to sting."

I carefully washed out each cut with rubbing alcohol. Spencer did his best not to yelp or wince so I could clean, dry, and bandage each one without much pressure. After all, it was only my second year in medical school.

After they were all cleaned up and I was sure there was no chance of infection, we sat down in the living room.

"You have nightmares too?" I asked him.

"Yeah. About all the people I couldn't save. Cause I know how they felt. Before they died. I know what it's like." He said.

"I just see him dying over and over, every time I close my eyes. Sometimes I wish it were me, instead of him." I admit. "Does it… does it ever go away?"

Spencer looked down. "No. It slows down, but it doesn't stop. You just kinda have to… live with it."

I knew he was right. But it was so hard. I had loved Scott so much, more than life itself. I didn't know how to deal with this. I was only eighteen. I shouldn't have to be going through this.

After all, hadn't I suffered enough already?

_I was walking through the hot Las Vegas sun, the humidity making my hair stand up. I noticed bikes slowing behind me._

"_Hey Kitty-kat!" a boy yelled. _

_It was Ronnie Evans, a real jerk off who was in my grade. Nobody liked me because I skipped two grades, and my brother Spencer had skipped like six, and Chris skipped one. They didn't like out family in general, they thought we were goody two shoes who overachieved to please mommy and daddy. _

_If only they knew._

"_Go away Ronnie!" I yelled._

_Someone threw a soda can at my head. It cut me at the hair line and it started bleeding. "Hey!" I yelled._

"_Just go running home to mommy, little girl!" he yelled._

"_Shut up!" I screamed. I turned around and tackled him. In minutes the other boys had me pinned to the ground. "Let me go!" I hollered, fighting against there grip._

"_Be quiet, Kitty-kat!" Ronnie said, punching me in the face. _

"_Get off me!" I continued to scream. He covered my mouth with his hand._

"_You bitch!" he said kicking my in the stomach._

"_Let's go guys." He said, climbing back on to his expensive silver ten speed bike, leaving me winded and bleeding in the street._

I never understood why people did those kinds of things to us. It was the worst for Spencer. I remember one night...

_It was almost midnight. Where was Spencer?_

_I was six and Chris was eight, mom was freaking out and Spencer was no where to be found. She grabbed my hair "WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BABY?" she screamed in my face. I was crying almost too loud to hear the door creak open and Spencer tell Chris to go get him some clothes._

"_Mom relax, let go of Kat's hair." He said, hiding behind a plant to cover himself._

_I could see all the bruises though, the way his wrists were bleeding._

_Mom let go of my hair, and I fell to the floor, happy for the pressure in my hair to have been relieved._

_Later that night, when I asked Spencer what happened, he told me the truth. He knew that even though I was six, I knew the truth about the world._

"_They stripped me down and tied me to the goal post… and then everybody just stood there and watched." He said._

_I kissed his wrist to make it better and hugged him tightly._

"_Don't worry Spence." I said. "They'll go away one day." _

I guess the truth is the bullies never really go away. The man who kidnapped Spencer was a bully, the man who shot Scott was a bully.

And Spencer was right, we just had to get over them.

That didn't make it any easier.


	9. Chapter Eight: Homecoming

**CHAPTER EIGHT HOMECOMING**

It's seems like every time we've had something to celebrate, something bad happened.

When I turned sixteen, Chris almost died.

When Chris woke up, Spencer got kidnapped.

When Chris came home from war, a one day trip turned into a hostage situation.

Spencer had gone to interview some children about sexual allegations in some weird cult town. Then the SWAT team raided it while he and two other agents were undercover there. So the town started holding them against their will. When I saw it on TV, Chris and I went straight to the BAU to see JJ.

"Is it true?" I whispered.

JJ looked at me. "Yes."

"No." I said. "No!"

"Kat, listen to me, he'll be okay."

I couldn't deal with my brother being a hostage. I had been a hostage, my fiancé had been a hostage, and they killed him.

"No, I can't do this again. I can't!"

"Kat, he's not Scott. They're not going to kill him."

People were staring know, but I didn't care, I cried into Chris's shoulder.

"I wish he killed me! I wish he killed me instead of Scott." I sobbed.

"Shh, Kat, don't say that. Please don't say that."

JJ looked shocked, I had kept in touch with her since Spencer's kidnapping. She knew me, and she knew this wasn't like me.

"Kat, honey, come with me." She said.

I followed her into Garcia, the computer techs' lab. There were strange fuzzy knick-knacks and pictures in neon frames everywhere. They matched Garcia's eccentric outfit perfectly.

"Hey JJ, hey Kat. What's up?" she asked.

"Kat, you're in for a little girl talk. Now who is Scott." Said JJ

"He was my fiancé."

"Fiancé? Honey, you're only eighteen." Garcia said.

"I was seventeen when he proposed, we were planning on a long engagement."

"Planning? What happened?" asked Garcia.

"One day we stopped at the bank on our way to the movie. And a man walked in, waving around a gun." I said. "He shot him. Right in front of me… and I tried to save him. I tried so hard…."

"_No!" I screamed. "Please no!" I got up to rush to him, the man I loved, whose blood was spreading across the smooth black tiled floor._

"_Freeze!" the man said, aiming his gun at me._

"_Please, you have to let me help him. I love him. I'm a med student… I have to help him." I pleaded._

"_Go." He said._

_I turned my attention back to Scott. I pressed my hands to his chest, but his blood was seeping through my fingers. Tears streamed down my face and I began to sob._

"_Scott. Please don't leave me. Please no. You can't do this to me. You can't! I love you! You can't do this, because I love you. I love you so much!"_

_But his eyes were already faded away, and he was gone._

"_No!" I screamed. "No!" _

_I started CPR. 1….2….1….2….1….2….1….2 I said out loud. I collapsed over his body, sobbing. "Please come back! Come back! Please!" I sobbed and sobbed, and I saw the pitying looks the others were giving me and I wished I could stop, but I just couldn't._

"I tried so hard…" I whispered

"We know you did sweetie." Said JJ, rubbing my back. "We know you did."

JJ sat up with Chris and me all night while we waited for news. She stayed with us while we once again sat in silence.

I didn't get the silence until that night, our silence was our way of making it seem like it could just be a dream. Saying it out loud made it real. It couldn't be real. Not until it was over. Until it was over, there was nothing to say.

They made it out again, Spencer and his team mate Emily made it out, another team member they had been with had been shot by the SWAT team by mistake. And a teenage girl, who thought she was in love with cult leader blew herself up.

But once again, Spencer was okay.

Sure, I still felt guilty. A mother had lost her daughter today. But I knew now that I could still mourn her loss and be happy Spencer was okay now.

I remembered when the hostages had been released at the bank. They had felt bad for me, but glad to return to their families, and I hadn't been mad at them for being happy. I knew that is this was some other girl this had happed to, I would be happy right now to return to Spencer and Chris.

Well, that as one thing I managed to get over.


	10. Chapter Nine: No Second Chances

**A/N Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing! Keep it up, stay awesome!**

**~MAXIMUM**

**CHAPTER NINE NO SECOND CHANCES**

"Spencer called from Vegas, he found another case he has to work on, he'll be home later this week." Chris told me.

"Alright." I said. "Ready to be crushed?" I said gesturing towards the monopoly board.

"No, but I am ready to crush." He said.

I laughed, and we began our game. As the Reid family is full of smarty-pants, when we play monopoly it lasts days and it goes down to who gets the last tower.

He was on leave, and I had a week off of school so we hung out, waiting for Spencer to come home. We watched old movies like we used to when we were little. We didn't have cable back then, but we had a six inch TV and old beat up movie player. We used to borrow movies from the library. I loved all the cheesy black and white ones and Chris would watch anything. We played lots of board games and read books out loud like our mom and Spencer used to do. And of course, we played Monopoly.

Two days later, we were almost half way through the game (and I was winning!) when Spence called.

"Hey big bro, what's up?" I asked, I was feeling great. I hadn't been this happy since Scott died. Too bad Spencer was about to put a huge damper on my mood.

"Dad wants to see you." He said.

"What?" Chris asked from behind me.

"He was involved in the case I was working on. You can say no guys." He said.

I paused. Could I really face him? I was four when my father left. I never knew him for real.

Chris said no immediately, but I thought about it.

In the end, I decided he has his chance. If he didn't want me then, he wouldn't want me now. Sure, he said he did… but I knew in my heart he didn't.

"Tell him he doesn't get a second chance." I said.

I almost wished I could be there to tell him myself.

I wished I could be there to see the look on his face when I told him to get the hell out of my life, for good. I was angry at him for leaving. I knew Spencer and Chris always had been too. I didn't think Spencer would be spending much time with him either.

When I looked at how much our lives had changed in all these years, I realized things could have been much worse for us.

Spencer could have not supported us well, we could be in foster care, we could be junkies, or living in the street.

But we were really lucky. We were able to make a live for ourselves.

We had a decent sized apartment with a half-way good view, I was going to college, we were all smart, Spencer and Chris had successful careers. We had plenty of friends. We were really lucky.

And I don't know why, but this made feel like everything wasn't so bad.

I had been seeing the glass as half empty. Just because I lost Scott, I had given up. But I had to go on. I had been through bad times before, and I had made it.

I wasn't going to ruin all that now and let one thing ruin my life.

I was going to live.

I reconnected with my friends, who were very happy to find that I was okay again.

One of my friends, Jenna Taylor, cooked my brownies and told me if I ever needed someone to talk to, she as there.

Jenna gave me hope that I could still enjoy things like brownies. That I would be able to enjoy those small things still. I mean, after all you have to start small. Baby steps.

I realized how much I had missed them all and how much I had really needed to talk to them.

I was almost thankful to my dad for trying to reconnect, if I hadn't said no, then I wouldn't be here right now.

And I was really glad to be there right then.

Glad to feel joy.


	11. Chapter Ten: Poison

**CHAPTER TEN POISON**

When JJ called, all she said was that Spencer was sick, and in the hospital. So Chris and I rushed over there and waited in the waiting room with the team.

"Dr. Spencer Reid."

We all stood, I knew that the team was his family as much as I was.

"He should be fine, he might take a while to wake up, but you can go in now."

Spencer didn't wake up till the next day, and the rest of the team had gone home to get some sleep, except Agent Morgan, or Morgan, as he told me to call him.

"So, what is life like with pretty boy?" he asked. Apparently pretty boy was Spence's nickname, to Morgan at least.

"Spencer has always protected us, he pretty much single handily took care of two kids and a sick mother, while he was a kid himself." Chris said.

"I couldn't ask for a better brother." I added.

Morgan's face softened with a new kind of respect for Spencer.

"So, what exactly is wrong with him?" Chris asked.

"Uh… he just had some trouble breathing."

"Oh, come on." I said. "I'm a med student, I'm not stupid."

I knew that Spencer had been poisoned, as this book is going out to the public, and I don't want to cause a panic, I won't say with what. To me, it was obvious. Chris, of course, didn't get it. And I couldn't tell him.

"You can't tell anyone." Morgan warned me.

"I know. Like I said, I'm not stupid." I said.

"What?" asked Chris.

"Sorry, Chris. But I don't think you really want to know." I said. "You caught the guy, right?"

"Yup." Morgan replied.

"So what's it like working with Spencer?" asked Chris, changing the subject.

"Well, he a complete know it all who constantly attracts danger and is socially awkward. I wouldn't replace him for the world." Morgan said.

I laughed. It was so true. "I do wish he would stop putting himself in danger." I said.

"I think we all want that, kitty-kat." He said.

I paled. "Don't call me that." I said thinking back to all the times I had been called kitty-kat, and how badly most of them had ended. I didn't ever want to hear my high school nick name again.

He put his hands up like he was surrending. "Alright, sorry."

The night continued on with funny stories from med school, cases, and boot camp. We were trying to ignore the fact that my brother was lying in a hospital bed. At least this time we weren't silent. I guess we accepted the fact that he was sick. After all, it was a pretty normal occurrence for normal families. We could be normal. Maybe.

When Spencer woke up, I was sitting perched on the edge of my chair almost like a bird, reading. Chris as playing some stupid game on his phone and Morgan was sitting with his legs on Spence's bed, eating his jello.

"Is that my jello?" Spencer asked.

A couple of doctors came in. "Relax, Dr. Reid. Welcome back to the land of living. You should be fine." One said.

"Is there any more jello?" he said.

The doctor laughed. "I'll see to getting you some." She said, walking out of the room.

"You gave us a scare there, pretty boy." Morgan said.

"Get your feet off my bed."

"I just saved the city while you were comfortably lying in this bed. My feet are staying here."

"Whatever." He looked towards us. "Sorry guys."

"Sorry?" Chris said. "For what?"

"For making you put up with him." He said, gesturing towards Morgan.

Chris and I laughed. "It wasn't that bad." I said.

"Sure it wasn't." Spence said.

We all laughed, and once again, everything was good. For now.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Peice of Metal

**A/N Okay hey guys. I seriously want to thank everyone who has been reviewing! You guys are awesome. Everyone who has been reading and not reviewing (if you exist, I have no proof) you guys are also awesome! So please review!**

**~MAXIMUM**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN PIECE OF METAL**

I was in the middle of a heated debate with a fellow student on whether to do an internal graft or a stitch when I got the call. My worst nightmare since Spencer had gotten his job had come true.

He had been shot.

Being in med school, I knew everything that had happened in detail. He was lucky he hadn't gone into shock, or have involuntary vasospasm, or…

Never mind, I won't bore you with my medical ramblings. It's a weird habit we all seem to have. We just talk and talk. We can tell a five minute story for hours.

Spencer had been with a doctor who had been receiving threats against his son. He had been alone helping the doctor try to figure out who would want to hurt him when he discovered the threats had a different meaning. The criminal hadn't been saying he would take away the son, but that he would be leave the son without a father.

By the time he realized this, the father was walking out the door, and the unsub (unidentified subject) was walking up the street toward him. Spencer, who had been talking to his partner Emily on the phone, dropped his cell and leaped in front of the bullet. It hit him in the knee, and Spence pushed the doctor behind him. Still raising his gun toward the unsub.

He ended up shooting, but not killing, the unsub.

When we got to the hospital, none of Spence's team was there (another pressing issue had prevented them from coming) Chris and I sat in the familiar hard plastic chairs of the waiting room and well, we waited.

The surgery only took about an hour, and Spence was going to be fine. He had to wear a brace for a while, and he would be on crutches. No field work for Spencer.

It amazes me whenever, now days at least, a gunshot victim come in to the hospital just how much damage a little piece of metal can do.

It can rip through you with vicious speed and burst right through you. It can make you bleed out and die, or paralyze you. So much damage can be done by something so tiny.

We all had experience with bullets.

Me, an aspiring doctor, who learned all about the treatment of them, and had been held hostage, watching the love of my life bleed out at their treacherous hands.

Chris, in the air force, had seen many guns. He had dealt with bullets everyday he was In Iraq.

And Spencer, feeling their pain first hand.

I think that the fact that someone so close to him had been shot kind of inflamed what had been churning inside of Chris.

PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Months later, Spence was off on a case and Chris and I were home alone. Chris seemed really distance, staring at the T.V. Some kind of war movie was on, but I was asleep on the couch. I had been up all night studying for an exam that I had the next day.

I don't really know what happened next but before I knew it, Chris's hands were wrapped around my throat. It was so weird to stare up into Chris's glazed over eyes as he pushed me father and father away from life. I gasped desperately for air. Trying to make words and get him to stop. I knocked something over and there was a loud crash. It kind of snapped him out of it. As realization came into his eyes his hands loosened and I felt air finally fill my lungs. I fell to the floor, gasping loudly.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm so so sorry!"

"Chris it's okay. I know you didn't mean it." I said, my voice raspy.

"Please I… can I do anything for you."

I stood up. "See a therapist. I'm sorry… I can't be here right now. I'll come back I promise but I just… I still love you and this isn't your fault. Okay? Just promise me you'll get help. Deal?"

He nodded. "Okay."

I couldn't be there anymore, it was suffocating me in the awkwardness of my fear. I was afraid of someone I love. I couldn't deal with it and I rushed out the door.

I knew JJ hadn't been on the case with Spencer and the team. So I went there.

I'm not sure what she thought when a sobbing nineteen year old showed up on her door step at eleven p.m. but she maintained perfect composure.

"Kat, what's wrong."

"I'm sorry… I can't be home. I can't…." I sobbed. "You must be sick of me. I'm always crying on your shoulder."

"Honey, what happened to your neck?" she asked.

I hadn't acknowledged the dark blue and purple color of neck until now. _Damn…_

"It's nothing…" I lied.

"Don't you lie to me, Katrina Reid. Now get in here and tell me what happened." She said.

I spent the night with JJ, and then we dealt with Chris's PTSD, one step at a time.

**A/N Okay, I know I'm kind of stealing story lines from hospital shows for Kat but I can't help it. It just kind of fits. **

**~MAXIMUM**


	13. Chapter Twelve: Signs

**CHAPTER TWELVE SIGNS**

So the next year I graduated med school. I became an intern at Stafford Hospital. I wanted to be a surgeon. As I had above average intelligence(so did Chris and Spencer was a genius) I caught on to things pretty quickly.

So yeah, I noticed the signs. Spence was having really, really bad headaches.

He winced whenever you turned on the lights, wore his sunglasses too much, rubbed his eyes constantly. So, I made him go to the doctor.

We did a CT scan, and we didn't find anything. So the doctors thought the cause might be psychosomatic. Spencer and I of course refused to except this information. There had to be another cause.

Before I continue, I think I should give you a better description of Spencer's team.

Agent Hotchner was the team leader, and they all called him 'Hotch' . He had lost his wife last year to vengeful unsub. He was very… cold. Well, you could tell he loved his team and his family, but he still had this weird air about him. Almost like he didn't feel. He always wore tailored suits and his black hair was perfect- never a hair out of place.

Agent Morgan, whom I'm sure you remember, was kind of like an older brother to Spencer. He was a huge ladies man, always dating some new girl. He was funny, but if anyone ever tried to hurt anyone he loved, he could probably kill them with his bare hands.

Agent Prentiss, or Emily as she told me to call her, was pretty serious but liked to fool around. She never flinched at anything, no matter how gruesome it may be. She was prepared for anything, always. She also wore tailored suits (for women, of course.) but she kind of mixed her color pallet more than Hotch.

JJ of course was the media liaison. She was always dressed fashionably and usually bright with whites and pinks. Unlike Emily, she often wore skirts. She was confident and collected. Always perky and bright.

And then there was Garcia, the computer tech. She wore insanely vibrant outfits. Bright pink and neon green. She died her hair red, blond, and close to white before. She always had a fluffy pen on her and spoke in witty and sharp replies and retorts.

Agent Rossi had been retired for a while. He was like, a founder of the BAU. He was a successful author. He was chalk full of wisdom and god could he cook. He wore Italian clothing and always smelled like old spice.

Agent Gideon had left years before. It had kind of crushed Spencer. It was hard for him because we had been abandoned by our father so many years before.

I was driving us home after the doctor's appointment. I was seriously road raging, my hands were gripping the wheel so tight that my knuckles were white.

I was supposed to be a doctor. And I couldn't figure out what was wrong with my own brother? So when I accidently hit another car in frustration, swearing under my breath, who should step out but Morgan, Garcia, and Emily heading off to a bar.

"Hey guys." Said Morgan.

"Sorry." I grumble.

"And I thought Reid was a bad driver." (they called my brother by his last name) Emily said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, yeah." I say. "I know it was my fault. You can take it up with my insurance company."

"That's okay, it's barley a ding." Says Morgan. "So where are you guys going?"

"No where." Reid says. "Home, I was just uh… picking Kat up from work."

"But she was driving."

"Well… uh…"

"We have to go." I say.

I grabbed Spencer's wrist when I notice it. A rash.

"How could I have been so stupid!" I exclaimed. "It's so simple!"

"What?" Reid asked.

"Mono!" I nearly screamed. "It's mono!"

"The kissing disease?" Morgan said. "What about it?"

"Doesn't matter. Come on!" I drag Spencer along.

Of course, as headaches are rarely this severe with mono I hadn't seen it. I had put the fact that he had not been eating as much and moving slowly back to the head pain. The rash put it all together.

It was so simple, I almost laughed. Spencer had mono! I couldn't believe how many doctors had missed it.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Called

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN CALLED**

My resident at the hospital was named Jessie Keller and she seemed like she would be a sweet quiet lady, and she was to patients, to us she was rather mean. I mean, she liked us, but she hated us. She liked who we were, but she hated the fact that we were interns. I don't know, like we were somehow making the wrong choice, like she wanted better for us.

I didn't know why until there was a crash. It was horrible accident, forty car pileup on the high way. Jessie and the rest of us got called to the scene.

The other interns on my team were Kelly Jackson, Warren Hale, Heather Green, and Chad Fox.

Kelly was a good friend of mine, she had had bouncy orange hair and shiny green eyes. She always looked for the best in people and never judged anybody. That's why I like her I guess, everybody always judged me for being smart. They thought I was a goody two shoes with a super rich mom and dad who carted me off to game shows to make money. But she never did.

Warren was kind of jerk, but I had grown to love him. Once you got past the player, he was nice and funny. He had thick blond hair and bright blue eyes that shone when he laughed. Guess that's how he charms all those girls.

Heather was another good friend, maybe not as good as Kelly, but still she was amazing. She had jet black hair and a pale complexion that made her look almost goth. The bright smile that always played across her face told a different story.

Finally there was Chad, he was like another brother to me. He had dark hair and tan skin and brown eyes that reminded me of Spencer's. He was nice and funny and simple. I knew he wanted me to love him, but it was hard for me. And he understood that, he was patient.

We hopped in the back of an ambulance and when we arrived at the scene we were greeted by such a horrible sight. I finally understood why Jessie was the way she was.

The smell of burning flesh filled the air. It dominated over every other smell even the faint smell of gas that flitted through the air. That was the first thing I noticed. For a moment it seemed like everything was silent.

Then the sound of sirens and people screaming reached my ears. They blended together in this weird and horrible combination like some kind of sick symphony. There were children crying and drills cutting people of cars…

The air felt think and heavy with fumes. It weighed down on me like fog.

I could almost taste the hurt. The fumes filled my mouth and coughed a little.

And the sight…. It was just sickening. People lying on stretchers calling out for help or loved ones. Kids, teenagers, adults, old ladies. People's faces were burned beyond recognition. Kids that were bent and broken in so many ways.

It was just horrible. Something that should never happen.

I treated patients and I did my best. A little girl, of about six, died before I could I save her. She was just six, she could have done so much for the world.

Later that night when I went home, I cried. It was so horrible to see that…

Chris held me while I cried for hours. Just hours and hours.

At the end I took a deep breath. And I knew I could still do this.

I could save people.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Off The Table

**A/N I'm so sorry for not posting, I've been somewhere without Wi-Fi. I'll get back to posting regularly now. Don't be angry.**

**~MAXIMUM**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN OFF THE TABLE**

I was scrubbing in on a surgery. When I found out who the surgery was being preformed on, I was shocked.

Emily Prentiss had sustained life threatening injuries. I don't know why I didn't tell my resident I had personal connections. I guess I just wanted a hand I saving her or something.

We did, we saved her. But there was still someone trying to kill her. They were putting her in the witness protection program, which meant it was easier to tell the team that she was dead.

Which meant that I was going to have to tell my brother his best friend was dead. Watch him grieve, know it wasn't true and still lie to his face.

I walked with JJ, who going to tell the team. I bit my lip nervously. I wasn't so sure I could do this.

"She never made it off the table." JJ said.

Spencer tried to leave but JJ wrapped him in a hug and he cried into her shoulder.

The team was in shock. I looked backwards through the window at Chad. He had scrubbed in also, he knew the truth. He gave me a sympathetic look. A tear streamed down my cheek.

Morgan was asking me a question. "Were you… on the surgery?"

I nodded. I didn't think I could speak without giving myself away.

Morgan looked away. I couldn't stand this anymore. I rushed out the door and into Chad's arms. He hugged me tightly. I knew it was happening, that I was falling in love. I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

I knew I shouldn't be falling in love right now. Not when my brother was grieving a fake death. Not when I would have to look at him every day and lie to him. But I just… couldn't help it.

Both out pagers went off.

We broke apart, pulling our pagers and without another word, ran off in opposite directions to deal with our own disasters.

Later I stood at the window in the hall way, staring down at nothing when I should be eating lunch. Chad walked toward me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." I replied.

"Are you going to be able to deal with this?" he asked.

I smiled.

"Thank you. And yes."

"Thank you? Thanks for what?"

"For not asking me if I'm okay now. For asking me if I will be. Because I will be. Just not know."

He smiled. "No problem."

We stood in silence for a while. He put his arm around my shoulders and we stood there, staring down at nothing.

**A/N I'm sorry this is so short. 0.o I'll make the next one longer!**


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Lies

**CHAPTER FIFTTEEN LIES**

Ten weeks.

Ten weeks was how long I had to lie Spencer. Ten weeks was how long I had to watch him cry.

Most of her funeral was spent trying to keep my face under control so they wouldn't know I was lying.

Ten weeks until they killed the man who had 'killed' Emily. And then she came back.

When he came home that night, he didn't really look at me.

"Spencer." I said. "Please, talk to me."

He looked at me, choosing his words carefully as possible. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. They said I couldn't. They said if I did she would really die."

He looked down. "So you just… lied to me?"

"It was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

He sighed and looked down.

"Will you forgive me?" I asked.

"I'm working on it." He said, walking back inside his bedroom.

I got a page. I was being called to another disaster. There had been some kind of problem with a building and it had collapsed.

I was helping an old man when it happened.

There was an insanely loud noise and a blast of fire. I felt horrible pain crash into me and I was pushed down into the ground. After it ended there was this horrible ringing. Someone rushed towards me. It was Warren, he had missed the blast.

That's right, a bomb had gone off in the building. Guess it wasn't the foundation of the building that had caused it to collapse.

"Kat?" Warren asked me.

I made a noise. There was a large piece of debris sticking out of my back.

"Shit, I have to get that out." Warren said.

However, there was a problem, and one of my legs was pinned under a beam. We would have to wait for help. But if he didn't get it out now, I would die.

Spencer's team was called to the scene, they had been investigating a bomber. So when Spencer saw me, he forgot about work and rushed to my side.

"What's wrong?" he asked Warren.

"Her body is rejecting the morphine, I'm going to have to pull this out, and it will hurt." Warren said.

_Damn it! _ I thought, I knew this would be agony. I was almost mad at myself for rejecting the morphine.

Spencer gripped my hand as Warren began to work out the debris from my back. I screamed in pain. It was horrible. I would have blacked out if it hadn't been for Spencer. I could sense the team watching this.

They must be thinking the same thing I was: us Reids can never catch a break.

Finally, someone arrived to get the beam off my leg, which wasn't too badly damaged. I wasn't burned.

Spencer rode in the ambulance with me to the hospital, and while the doctors pushed my stretcher he said "I forgive you! I forgive you."

I smiled at him a little. "Thanks, Spence." I said.

Warren saved me that day. I was so grateful to him, but he felt guilty for having to cause me all the pain, until I told him it was better than dying.

And Warren, if you ever read this, thank you so much for saving me.

Four hundred and fifty one people died that day. Two hundred and forty six were people who were killed in the original collapse. One hundred and seventy were injured people who were killed in the second blast. Thirty five were emergency responders, like me.

It felt weird to be a victim of something so big that killed so many people. Like any one of them could have been where I was instead of me.

My lung had been punctured by the debris, they patched it up in a five hour surgery that went perfect. My leg was surprisingly almost completely unharmed. My knee was twisted and two of my toes were broken, along with a long crack running alongside foot. It was a miracle, it should have been crushed.

The bomber, Harry Thompson was caught by Spence's team the day after the building was bombed.

Chris said we must be lucky, to have faced death so many times and always make it out. My brothers job were relatively dangerous in the first place, and there was a good chance they could die at any time. But even me, with the safer job of doctor had stared death in the face and well… laughed I guess.

Spencer forgave JJ and me for lying to him. He said he guessed he would have had to do the same thing in our shoes.

And there we go, another dangerous chapter with a happy ending. I couldn't help but wonder how many more I had left in me.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: End

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN END**

I don't really know what to say now. I don't know how to explain why I left.

I was twenty five when I left. My hands were shaking, I had a rare disease that could only be cured with a very risky brain surgery. I probably would have just dealt with it except…

How can you write with shaking hands?

How can you be a surgeon with shaking hands?

I couldn't decide so I just left. I went to Seattle. I ended up getting the surgery but I didn't know if I could go home.

I had abandoned them, I hadn't even told them about the surgery, they had no idea why I left.

I got a job at a hospital here. I wrote some books. I've lived here for three years. I haven't seen my family for three years.

Chad knows I'm here, he got a job at another hospital here and we moved in together.

When I started writing this book, I found out I was pregnant.

And we decided to go home.

So I guess, well… this is the end. I don't know if Spencer and Chris will forgive me.

I hope they do.


End file.
